Carey S.

Peer Parent

I grew up in the Boston area, then after college I moved around a lot – overseas to France and Switzerland, then Baltimore, Connecticut and finally Philly where I got married and had two of my children before moving back to the Boston area. We adopted our third child who came home to us when he was 3 months old. I had a corporate job for 25 years, and then switched to working in sports, both coaching and administration, which has always been an interest for me. I really enjoy High School kids, and my personal journey with our son has given me new insights, and made me better at my job and at life in general.

My son was always a social, smart, entertaining boy, always knew everyone in town, their names, their parents, very gregarious. But he was struggling at the same time with identity, struggling with the burden of our expectations, and some bullying at one point. He began abusing substances early in high school and it escalated. We pulled him out of our schools his Senior year to find him help. After two years with many ups and downs, he had stabilized and reached some goals but then stopped communicating with us for about 20 months. He stayed in touch with his sisters and used that time away to establish his own path, and thankfully, I found the peer parents groups to help me on my path. I’ve learned so much about how to be my own person and let my son have his life on his own terms. To be supportive and not enabling. To focus on what I can control and change about myself vs my son. When we reunited, I was able to tell him I had no resentments, no need to re-hash the past and was ready to start a new relationship with my son, who I didn’t really know. We’ve been able to build a good relationship over the last 2 years, and I look forward to seeing how his life unfolds alongside everyone in the family